"Women are like teabags, you never know how strong they are until they are put in hot water."
//Eleanor Roosevelt
it's like having two hands wrapped around a railing, hanging off the edge of a building, knowing that your grip is going to slip sooner or later, but holding on for dear life because letting go means crashing into the ground, means opening yourself to a world of pain. I'm not going to lie. it's hard. it's so damn hard. to wake up every morning and have the pain rush in, to be waiting the whole day for the right moment and getting a short reply, to be going home on the mrt on fridays when the whole world is with someone else, to remember that I'm not the only one having a hard time. to want to care but not know how to do it, to want to encourage but have it come out the wrong way, to be faced with the truth that I may not be mature enough to handle all this grown up stuff.
God can help us overcome. I know that. it's just sometimes, sometimes I need to let off my steam too.
if it's true that missing somebody is not counting the hours/days/weeks since you last met or talked but thinking of what you'll want to do with them if they were here with you right now, then I have a dozen in my head. all patient and lined up and waiting their turn.
but right now, what I need is not important and I'm trying so damn hard not to take it personally. I can do it, I know. it's just two weeks of compressing stuff into myself and not having or wanting to talk to anyone about it. so don't flinch. I just need to write it down to release myself from the burden of carrying all this nonsense around. this won't last forever. I need to focus on something else to take the edge off this.
"Women are like teabags, you never know how strong they are until they are put in hot water."
//Eleanor Roosevelt
it's like having two hands wrapped around a railing, hanging off the edge of a building, knowing that your grip is going to slip sooner or later, but holding on for dear life because letting go means crashing into the ground, means opening yourself to a world of pain. I'm not going to lie. it's hard. it's so damn hard. to wake up every morning and have the pain rush in, to be waiting the whole day for the right moment and getting a short reply, to be going home on the mrt on fridays when the whole world is with someone else, to remember that I'm not the only one having a hard time. to want to care but not know how to do it, to want to encourage but have it come out the wrong way, to be faced with the truth that I may not be mature enough to handle all this grown up stuff.
God can help us overcome. I know that. it's just sometimes, sometimes I need to let off my steam too.
if it's true that missing somebody is not counting the hours/days/weeks since you last met or talked but thinking of what you'll want to do with them if they were here with you right now, then I have a dozen in my head. all patient and lined up and waiting their turn.
but right now, what I need is not important and I'm trying so damn hard not to take it personally. I can do it, I know. it's just two weeks of compressing stuff into myself and not having or wanting to talk to anyone about it. so don't flinch. I just need to write it down to release myself from the burden of carrying all this nonsense around. this won't last forever. I need to focus on something else to take the edge off this.
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