"I am sure that God keeps no one waiting unless he sees that it is good for him to wait." //C.S. Lewis Haha I was just sharing with my sisters that I really face such a dilemma sometimes. Some days, I cannot wait to move into a new season of my life with all the attendant excitement and planning and joy and all the agaeghalkghaef! But some days, I just feel some an overwhelming sadness to know that when the time comes, I will really have to leave some things behind. Ahh, this is probably my season of life now, waiting again haha. But definitely waiting with joy, waiting with peace, waiting with as much stillness as I can muster :)
Today we went for our couple time session with Uncle CS and Aunt PK, and what an eye-opening session it was. Just to have time to sit down and discuss our issues openly, talk about our strength areas, our growth areas and all the future areas of living and working together that we will have, was just really amazing. And I think it's opened my eyes more to who I was, what I am and who I eventually want to become. Right now, I know that I hold back a lot and that I fear a lot. I'm afraid of loss, of being let down, of getting hurt, of giving too much, showing too quickly, being too vulnerable. But Uncle CS is right, that I need to give him a chance, and give us a chance. Because I know he is different,I know that he is chosen, I know that he has never done a thing to let me down. But at times, the fear of the unknown rings really loudly. How will I react when he finally gets into his peak period and is really tied down by all his audit engagements? Will I really be able to cope the way I say I can? Will things turn out the way they used to play out all the time? But I know it will be okay. All it takes it to breakdown the hedge I've built around myself, one part at a time, one day at a time. Step by step, until we reach the finishing point together.
"I am sure that God keeps no one waiting unless he sees that it is good for him to wait." //C.S. Lewis Haha I was just sharing with my sisters that I really face such a dilemma sometimes. Some days, I cannot wait to move into a new season of my life with all the attendant excitement and planning and joy and all the agaeghalkghaef! But some days, I just feel some an overwhelming sadness to know that when the time comes, I will really have to leave some things behind. Ahh, this is probably my season of life now, waiting again haha. But definitely waiting with joy, waiting with peace, waiting with as much stillness as I can muster :)
Today we went for our couple time session with Uncle CS and Aunt PK, and what an eye-opening session it was. Just to have time to sit down and discuss our issues openly, talk about our strength areas, our growth areas and all the future areas of living and working together that we will have, was just really amazing. And I think it's opened my eyes more to who I was, what I am and who I eventually want to become. Right now, I know that I hold back a lot and that I fear a lot. I'm afraid of loss, of being let down, of getting hurt, of giving too much, showing too quickly, being too vulnerable. But Uncle CS is right, that I need to give him a chance, and give us a chance. Because I know he is different,I know that he is chosen, I know that he has never done a thing to let me down. But at times, the fear of the unknown rings really loudly. How will I react when he finally gets into his peak period and is really tied down by all his audit engagements? Will I really be able to cope the way I say I can? Will things turn out the way they used to play out all the time? But I know it will be okay. All it takes it to breakdown the hedge I've built around myself, one part at a time, one day at a time. Step by step, until we reach the finishing point together.
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