"Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin; Pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord." //Lamentations 2:19 I remember my entire journey with you. From the time of camp d'vine, to joining the new cell group, to the time of waiting and praying, the first meet-up in clarke quay and the long walk to the dessert place, the christmas eve dinner and talk, the three months of seeking and drawing near, the question at ecp and the twenty-one months after. I believe you were with me, every single step of the way. watching and waiting, desiring always for us to realise that we needed to once again draw close to you and make you our centre. and now, I see that you guided us to walk onto separate paths. the new job, the busyness, the times at your place after church, the intense HTHT at ecp, my single-minded stubbornness, the timelines, the disagreements, your decisions, the closure meeting. through it all, I still hold onto the truth that in all things, you work together for the good of those who love you, who have been called according to your purpose. and I do not give up, I do not give in. at the end of it all, I come to you and say that I still believe. believe that I heard you clearly, that you heard my prayers and you came through for me. believe that you have caused things to fall apart because this is part of your plan for us. and even though, my heart hurts and my faith is shaken, I know that you are calling me to come to you again. not to live in fear, but to be bold to ask to hear from you again. for this will be my real victory, that I am not afraid to do your will, even if it means falling down and losing parts of my heart. for what you intend for me, no human hand can ever take it away. and what you do not intend for me, no human hand will ever be able to hold onto it. so let your joy be my strength, be the medicine which heals this broken heart. as a wood-carver chips away at the wood which cannot be used, let my heart be a vessel in your hands and your testing the chipping away of the parts of my heart which do not belong to you. for you see me at the end of my journey. and I trust you are making something beautiful out of me, especially in the fire and the valleys. through it all; love, I still believe in you.
"Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin; Pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord." //Lamentations 2:19 I remember my entire journey with you. From the time of camp d'vine, to joining the new cell group, to the time of waiting and praying, the first meet-up in clarke quay and the long walk to the dessert place, the christmas eve dinner and talk, the three months of seeking and drawing near, the question at ecp and the twenty-one months after. I believe you were with me, every single step of the way. watching and waiting, desiring always for us to realise that we needed to once again draw close to you and make you our centre. and now, I see that you guided us to walk onto separate paths. the new job, the busyness, the times at your place after church, the intense HTHT at ecp, my single-minded stubbornness, the timelines, the disagreements, your decisions, the closure meeting. through it all, I still hold onto the truth that in all things, you work together for the good of those who love you, who have been called according to your purpose. and I do not give up, I do not give in. at the end of it all, I come to you and say that I still believe. believe that I heard you clearly, that you heard my prayers and you came through for me. believe that you have caused things to fall apart because this is part of your plan for us. and even though, my heart hurts and my faith is shaken, I know that you are calling me to come to you again. not to live in fear, but to be bold to ask to hear from you again. for this will be my real victory, that I am not afraid to do your will, even if it means falling down and losing parts of my heart. for what you intend for me, no human hand can ever take it away. and what you do not intend for me, no human hand will ever be able to hold onto it. so let your joy be my strength, be the medicine which heals this broken heart. as a wood-carver chips away at the wood which cannot be used, let my heart be a vessel in your hands and your testing the chipping away of the parts of my heart which do not belong to you. for you see me at the end of my journey. and I trust you are making something beautiful out of me, especially in the fire and the valleys. through it all; love, I still believe in you.
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