"The reason that marriage is so painful and yet wonderful is because it is a reflection of the gospel, which is painful and wonderful at once. The gospel is this: we are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope. This is the only kind of relationship that will ever transform us.

Love without truth is sentimentality; it supports and affirms us, but keeps us in denial about our flaws. Truth without love is harshness; it gives us information but in such a way that we cannot really hear it. God's saving love in Christ, however, is marked by both radical truthfulness about who we are and yet also radical, unconditional commitment to us."
//Timothy Keller; The Meaning of Marriage 

So the intense HTHT we had last week got me thinking more deeply. Do I really know what marriage is all about? 

At the cusp of our 20th monthesary, I wonder to myself, have we truly gone past the honeymoon period which we thought would never end, and come face to face with the fact that sometimes, love is hard. Harder than I thought it would be. But why shouldn't it be so? If we are flawed beings who live life selfishly, why would falling in love with each other suddenly turn us into saints overnight? And I suppose that's what I'm learning over and over again. That love and ultimately, marriage was never meant to be something easy. That commitment is something you work at, try over and over again, fall down and get up again. 

Saying that I love you for who you are is the easiest thing to do ever, but living it out daily is a totally different matter. Sometimes it means dying to my selfish desires, sometimes it means challenging you to change, sometimes it means mutual sacrifice for us both. But I stand on one thing, and that is that the one who has brought us together will be faithful to bring us through. 

So I do not give up, I do not give in. For what Paul calls the "profound mystery", I am only now beginning to see and understand just a bit of what he means. So if God has said not now, I trust that he has more timely plans for me in this season. And so I say, okay then hold my heart in your hands until you are ready to give it over. you are my all in all. 

"The reason that marriage is so painful and yet wonderful is because it is a reflection of the gospel, which is painful and wonderful at once. The gospel is this: we are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope. This is the only kind of relationship that will ever transform us.

Love without truth is sentimentality; it supports and affirms us, but keeps us in denial about our flaws. Truth without love is harshness; it gives us information but in such a way that we cannot really hear it. God's saving love in Christ, however, is marked by both radical truthfulness about who we are and yet also radical, unconditional commitment to us."
//Timothy Keller; The Meaning of Marriage 

So the intense HTHT we had last week got me thinking more deeply. Do I really know what marriage is all about? 

At the cusp of our 20th monthesary, I wonder to myself, have we truly gone past the honeymoon period which we thought would never end, and come face to face with the fact that sometimes, love is hard. Harder than I thought it would be. But why shouldn't it be so? If we are flawed beings who live life selfishly, why would falling in love with each other suddenly turn us into saints overnight? And I suppose that's what I'm learning over and over again. That love and ultimately, marriage was never meant to be something easy. That commitment is something you work at, try over and over again, fall down and get up again. 

Saying that I love you for who you are is the easiest thing to do ever, but living it out daily is a totally different matter. Sometimes it means dying to my selfish desires, sometimes it means challenging you to change, sometimes it means mutual sacrifice for us both. But I stand on one thing, and that is that the one who has brought us together will be faithful to bring us through. 

So I do not give up, I do not give in. For what Paul calls the "profound mystery", I am only now beginning to see and understand just a bit of what he means. So if God has said not now, I trust that he has more timely plans for me in this season. And so I say, okay then hold my heart in your hands until you are ready to give it over. you are my all in all.