"There will come a time when the world gets quiet and the only sound left is the sound of your heart. So you'd better learn the sound of it. Otherwise, you'll never understand what your heart is saying."
//Sarah Dessen; Just Listen
currently working on a consti law presentation, two individual research papers and two group research projects in the space of four weeks = being cooped up in random GSRs or the library for hours and hours on end. the upshot is that our library is really interesting! Jo and I discovered tons and tons of books on all imaginable subjects stocked in the stacks on the third and fourth floor! for a moment while we were there, I felt like just sitting in the library forever, just reading and reading all those books while the world went on with its business outside.
the down shot is that my whole term break has been burned away. the only break we got was a visit to the harmony centre at bishan for our asian history course on monday. had a pretty fun time and after that, we spent six hours in a booth at bishan junction 8 talking about all the things we know and love.
so if Vik says the problem with me now is the mere state of being attuned, then when does it go away? when do I de-tune so that it doesn't hurt me anymore? because I can't bear holding my lips together so that I don't make a sound, so that no one can hear the break in my voice.
20 February 2010
;23:33after years of eating out or going to people's house to sponge on their new year spread, my parents decided to cook our CNY meals this year!
so they decided to start with something simple like prawn noodles which was really not bad, the soup was really pretty good!
okay technically steam boat doesn't really count as cooking but at least there's the fun of dunking the food into hot water and waiting for it to come to boil haha.
and my dad takes his job of arranging the food in an asthetically pleasing manner really seriously.
the challenge of the whole thing was the bak kut teh! even though apparently it's quite easy to make since supermarkets sell the instant buk ket teh soup mix and all you have to do is boil the pork for a few hours.
"If you ever find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."
//Mark Twain;
It's not exactly a complete break down. But there is definitely a sense of disillusionment that throws at least part of my world into flux. I want to believe that I have strong convictions in certain areas of my life, values that I will stand up for, beliefs that I will defend. Yet, it is never easy in a place filled with people armed to the teeth with ideas, logic and passion. Ready to tear you apart at the first sign of weakness or incoherence.
In this tug-of-war between morals, beliefs, values, rights, black and white, where do I place myself? Do I have enough courage to be salt and light? Or do you start conceding more and more areas of moral no-compromise to the point where you can no longer recognise who you are anymore?
Perhaps all human wisdom is futile in the eyes of a God who is wise beyond human comprehension. Futile. Does that mean that the more we reason, the more we get confused, to the point where all the other voices crowd our heads, clamouring for attention so that we take our heart and eyes off the person who really matters?
How far can logic bring you? Logic brings you to the edge of a cliff and logic sees only as far as your eyes can go. How far can faith bring you? Faith sees God at the end of the jump. So I have the courage to jump, knowing that He will surely make my landing safe. When you have nothing else to hold on to, hold on to him.
"There will come a time when the world gets quiet and the only sound left is the sound of your heart. So you'd better learn the sound of it. Otherwise, you'll never understand what your heart is saying."
//Sarah Dessen; Just Listen
currently working on a consti law presentation, two individual research papers and two group research projects in the space of four weeks = being cooped up in random GSRs or the library for hours and hours on end. the upshot is that our library is really interesting! Jo and I discovered tons and tons of books on all imaginable subjects stocked in the stacks on the third and fourth floor! for a moment while we were there, I felt like just sitting in the library forever, just reading and reading all those books while the world went on with its business outside.
the down shot is that my whole term break has been burned away. the only break we got was a visit to the harmony centre at bishan for our asian history course on monday. had a pretty fun time and after that, we spent six hours in a booth at bishan junction 8 talking about all the things we know and love.
so if Vik says the problem with me now is the mere state of being attuned, then when does it go away? when do I de-tune so that it doesn't hurt me anymore? because I can't bear holding my lips together so that I don't make a sound, so that no one can hear the break in my voice.
after years of eating out or going to people's house to sponge on their new year spread, my parents decided to cook our CNY meals this year!
so they decided to start with something simple like prawn noodles which was really not bad, the soup was really pretty good!
okay technically steam boat doesn't really count as cooking but at least there's the fun of dunking the food into hot water and waiting for it to come to boil haha.
and my dad takes his job of arranging the food in an asthetically pleasing manner really seriously.
the challenge of the whole thing was the bak kut teh! even though apparently it's quite easy to make since supermarkets sell the instant buk ket teh soup mix and all you have to do is boil the pork for a few hours.
"If you ever find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."
//Mark Twain;
It's not exactly a complete break down. But there is definitely a sense of disillusionment that throws at least part of my world into flux. I want to believe that I have strong convictions in certain areas of my life, values that I will stand up for, beliefs that I will defend. Yet, it is never easy in a place filled with people armed to the teeth with ideas, logic and passion. Ready to tear you apart at the first sign of weakness or incoherence.
In this tug-of-war between morals, beliefs, values, rights, black and white, where do I place myself? Do I have enough courage to be salt and light? Or do you start conceding more and more areas of moral no-compromise to the point where you can no longer recognise who you are anymore?
Perhaps all human wisdom is futile in the eyes of a God who is wise beyond human comprehension. Futile. Does that mean that the more we reason, the more we get confused, to the point where all the other voices crowd our heads, clamouring for attention so that we take our heart and eyes off the person who really matters?
How far can logic bring you? Logic brings you to the edge of a cliff and logic sees only as far as your eyes can go. How far can faith bring you? Faith sees God at the end of the jump. So I have the courage to jump, knowing that He will surely make my landing safe. When you have nothing else to hold on to, hold on to him.
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