"Falling in love, we said; I fell for him. We were falling women. We believed in it, this downward motion: so lovely, like flying, and yet at the same time so dire, so extreme, so unlikely. God is love, they once said, but we reversed that, and love, like heaven, was always just around the corner. The more difficult it was to love the particular man beside us, the more we believed in Love, abstract and total. We were waiting, always, for the incarnation. That word, made flesh.
And sometimes it happened, for a time. That kind of love comes and goes and is hard to remember afterwards, like pain. You would look at the man one day and you would think, I loved you, and the tense would be past, and you would be filled with a sense of wonder, because it was such an amazing and precarious and dumb thing to have done; and you would know too why your friends had been evasive about it, at the time."
//Margaret Atwood; Cat's Eye
We are persons stultified by fear. Fear of falling, fear of moving, fear of anything that does not come to us easily. And I'm so tired and angry about this fear that pins me down and keeps me waiting. Yet, she is right. In terms of absolute manhours (especially in terms of school hours where days are counted in weeks), why the panic and the unrest? It's way too early, way too short, way too fast to be lurching in any direction. Yet, when the tense is past, probably nothing will ever bring it back. I suppose it's a good and bad thing that we never know the consequences of our actions in the future. Otherwise, it would probably paralyse us all completely into inaction. Or it could jolt us into taking a step in the right direction. Haha, which means I should ask Yippie the equity questions that have been bugging me all week before I explode from all the angst of my law backlog. That is, if she even remembers that I am from her equity class, haha Hong Quan's friend to the left to the left, that's how she probably remembers me.
"Falling in love, we said; I fell for him. We were falling women. We believed in it, this downward motion: so lovely, like flying, and yet at the same time so dire, so extreme, so unlikely. God is love, they once said, but we reversed that, and love, like heaven, was always just around the corner. The more difficult it was to love the particular man beside us, the more we believed in Love, abstract and total. We were waiting, always, for the incarnation. That word, made flesh.
And sometimes it happened, for a time. That kind of love comes and goes and is hard to remember afterwards, like pain. You would look at the man one day and you would think, I loved you, and the tense would be past, and you would be filled with a sense of wonder, because it was such an amazing and precarious and dumb thing to have done; and you would know too why your friends had been evasive about it, at the time."
//Margaret Atwood; Cat's Eye
We are persons stultified by fear. Fear of falling, fear of moving, fear of anything that does not come to us easily. And I'm so tired and angry about this fear that pins me down and keeps me waiting. Yet, she is right. In terms of absolute manhours (especially in terms of school hours where days are counted in weeks), why the panic and the unrest? It's way too early, way too short, way too fast to be lurching in any direction. Yet, when the tense is past, probably nothing will ever bring it back. I suppose it's a good and bad thing that we never know the consequences of our actions in the future. Otherwise, it would probably paralyse us all completely into inaction. Or it could jolt us into taking a step in the right direction. Haha, which means I should ask Yippie the equity questions that have been bugging me all week before I explode from all the angst of my law backlog. That is, if she even remembers that I am from her equity class, haha Hong Quan's friend to the left to the left, that's how she probably remembers me.
