"To whom then will you liken Me,
Or to whom shall I be equal?” says the Holy One. Lift up your eyes on high,
And see who has created these things,
Who brings out their host by number;
He calls them all by name,
By the greatness of His might
And the strength of His power;
Not one is missing."
//Isaiah 40:25-26 (NKJV Version)
What does it mean when someone says, "He has carried me through the seasons?" I think I received some new insights when we visited our grandfather after dinner today.
My granddad is now 86 years old and he's not as strong and healthy as he used to be. I still remember the times when he would go to Chinatown and buy duck and other medicinal stuff, then come back in the afternoon, sit in his chair in front of the TV and nag endlessly at the grandkids who would be making tons of noise in the room. But over the past 10 years, a lot has changed. He's become a lot frailer and he can no longer walk steadily, so that he's in a wheelchair if we go out. His lungs are slowly breaking down and won't get better so that he uses a breathing machine throughout the night to help him breathe. He can no longer go out on his own, most days, he either rests in bed or comes out just to watch a bit of TV.
Recently, he had a lung and urinary tract infection and somehow after dinner, we ran into our aunt and she asked us to go up and see him, So we did. And while standing in his room, I was struck by how similar this scene was as when my paternal grandma was in her last few months of life. I saw the same shrunken shoulders, the shallow breathing and the sometimes glazed over expressions.
But then my dad read Psalms 103 which says, "Bless the Lord, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, Who satisfies your mouth with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s."
And at that moment, I realised what it means to proclaim that God will carry me through all the seasons. It means that one day, I will get old and I might be ill and I might not be able to praise and worship Him like I do now. But then, even then, I am not alone when I walk through the shadow of the valley of death. Even then, He is the Shepherd who holds my hand to personally lead me and guide me. Even when my future children and grandchildren cannot understand totally the pain I am going through then, He knows, and He will be with me in the last leg of the race.
I don't fully understand why people get old, and sometimes suffer before they leave this world. And seeing my granddad and my paternal grandma before him, I can understand a little why people sometimes talk about euthanasia and wanting to live a life of quality instead. But at the same time, when I read through verse after verse in the Bible, I am reminded that He is my God, unchanging even as I grow up and I begin to age, slowly but surely.
Perhaps one day I might be in the same position as my granddad. When that time comes, I want to see this post again and be reminded of my God's faithfulness. And tell myself that even when I have to breathe shallowly or with the help of machines, I will lift up my hands and tell people of my God's chesed, His endless lovingkindness.
"To whom then will you liken Me,
Or to whom shall I be equal?” says the Holy One. Lift up your eyes on high,
And see who has created these things,
Who brings out their host by number;
He calls them all by name,
By the greatness of His might
And the strength of His power;
Not one is missing."
//Isaiah 40:25-26 (NKJV Version)
What does it mean when someone says, "He has carried me through the seasons?" I think I received some new insights when we visited our grandfather after dinner today.
My granddad is now 86 years old and he's not as strong and healthy as he used to be. I still remember the times when he would go to Chinatown and buy duck and other medicinal stuff, then come back in the afternoon, sit in his chair in front of the TV and nag endlessly at the grandkids who would be making tons of noise in the room. But over the past 10 years, a lot has changed. He's become a lot frailer and he can no longer walk steadily, so that he's in a wheelchair if we go out. His lungs are slowly breaking down and won't get better so that he uses a breathing machine throughout the night to help him breathe. He can no longer go out on his own, most days, he either rests in bed or comes out just to watch a bit of TV.
Recently, he had a lung and urinary tract infection and somehow after dinner, we ran into our aunt and she asked us to go up and see him, So we did. And while standing in his room, I was struck by how similar this scene was as when my paternal grandma was in her last few months of life. I saw the same shrunken shoulders, the shallow breathing and the sometimes glazed over expressions.
But then my dad read Psalms 103 which says, "Bless the Lord, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, Who satisfies your mouth with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s."
And at that moment, I realised what it means to proclaim that God will carry me through all the seasons. It means that one day, I will get old and I might be ill and I might not be able to praise and worship Him like I do now. But then, even then, I am not alone when I walk through the shadow of the valley of death. Even then, He is the Shepherd who holds my hand to personally lead me and guide me. Even when my future children and grandchildren cannot understand totally the pain I am going through then, He knows, and He will be with me in the last leg of the race.
I don't fully understand why people get old, and sometimes suffer before they leave this world. And seeing my granddad and my paternal grandma before him, I can understand a little why people sometimes talk about euthanasia and wanting to live a life of quality instead. But at the same time, when I read through verse after verse in the Bible, I am reminded that He is my God, unchanging even as I grow up and I begin to age, slowly but surely.
Perhaps one day I might be in the same position as my granddad. When that time comes, I want to see this post again and be reminded of my God's faithfulness. And tell myself that even when I have to breathe shallowly or with the help of machines, I will lift up my hands and tell people of my God's chesed, His endless lovingkindness.
