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faith.
30 March 2009
;09:49
"If you are sad, ask yourself why you are sad. Then pick up the phone and call someone and tell him or her the answer to the question. If you don’t know anyone, call the operator and tell him or her. Most people don’t know that the operator has to listen, it is a law. Also, the postman is not allowed to go inside your house, but you can talk to him on public property for up to four minutes or until he wants to go, whichever comes first." //No One Belongs Here More Than You, Miranda July
i know all the things that people tell me. i know that God has a plan for everyone. i know that pain and suffering is part of the reason why this world is fallen. i know that if we pray persistently, He has the power to heal. i know that if we pray and believe, our actions and our words should reflect that faith.
yet, when i see her suffer, there is a twisting in my heart that i cannot explain. and it hurts, because i can't do anything to help. and i cannot explain to myself, why sometimes it is people who are faithful that suffer this way. i suppose,it's part of growing up. the people who grew me up are getting on in years and they are no longer the healthy people i remember. it's just, i know we shouldn't be discouraged, but it's so hard sometimes when i see the pills she has to take before meals (7 x 3 times a day!), the injections to test the sugar-level in the blood (2!) and the painful process of changing bandages and cleaning the wounds.
my pastor once asked, what do you have to do before you become a man of faith? he said, faith is not seen by one great act of faith. it is accumulated in the times when the going gets tough and the tough get praying. little by little, before you know it, you become a man of faith.
i'm not even anywhere near being a person of faith. but, i'm not giving up now. i lift my eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from? my help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth. though my heart is torn, i'll praise you in this storm. Labels: faith, family, questions, verse
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