"Amazing love how can it be, that you my king would die for me? Amazing love I know it's true; It's my joy to honor you; In all I do I honor you" //Chris Tomlin; Amazing Love Somehow the topic of work has been troubling me for the past two or three months. And while I've been getting by, I also know deep in my heart that I'm not yet digging deep enough, have not yet reached a point where I have complete peace. But God has been good, granting me two wonderful opportunities with weeps and kx to discuss my work situation. I've been really blessed, just to be able to share with them and say what has been eating away at me. And I really took away some wonderful nuggets of truth from my conversations with them. I don't know if this helps anyone else who is going through something difficult but I'll just share them here cos I think it applies to most things in life. First, it doesn't matter that I don't exactly know what I eventually want to be. It's enough that I know that God has placed me here for a purpose. So even if I'm doing something that's super mundane, I should do it with a spirit of excellence, as if I'm working for God and not for man. Bcos this is something that will mould my character and a stone I need to step on in the journey that God is leading me through. Second, my heart attitude plays out in the way that I interact with others and do my work. Do I truly believe that God is in control and He directs my path completely? If so, I will stop worrying about all my fears and my insecurities. Instead, I will do my best at everything I've been given and trust in God that he will allow it to turn out well. I will thank him for the place I've been put in and all the good things I've been given. I will not strive. Third, I will learn as much as I can in the time I've been given. It doesn't matter if there are many working styles, many things that I do not yet know. By God's grace, I will pick up the skills I need so that I can be effective in my calling. Lastly, each and every day I need to start off again with a spirit-filled vision of my work and my calling. Remind myself that I'm not in it for material things but that I'm placed here to do His work, in whatever shape and form that may be. Onward and onward, until we're called home.
"For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength." //1 Corinthians 1:25 I managed to meet KX for brekkie this morning before church and we had a really good meetup session. Now, I really feel like trying out a silent retreat session where there's no way for me to connect with the world and literally the only person I can converse with is God. Time to stop sifting soil and dig deeper. God is all I need, He is more than sufficient and in all my weakness, His strength will be made perfect.
"You fill the sun with morning light; You bent the moon to lead the night; You clothed the lilies bright and beautiful; You're already all I need, already everything that I could hope for You've already set me, already making me more like you." //Christy Nockels; Already All I Need This has been my season of scattering stones. Of realising that sometimes God makes people and things fall together in a perfect way for a beautiful moment in time. But moments in time do not last forever and once our season is over, it will be time to move on to new things. After all, in life, everyone makes their own decisions and though it will be with great sadness that we say goodbye, there are better things ahead for each of us. I believe, I sincerely believe. Thank you for everything, while it lasted. The times we had were wonderful and beautiful. xoxo.
"Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?” //Luke 9:23-25 (NIV Version)
Today, I come to the end of a journey that I've walked for five years. Today, I stand at the starting line of a new marathon that may last for a lifetime. Today, I am called to the Bar. Many people have asked me what it means to be called. Simply put, to be called to the Bar means to be legally qualified to represent your client in court and to argue on his behalf. Historically, it was used to refer to wooden barriers in old courtrooms, which acted as a divide between the public area and the space in front of the judges that was reserved for those having business with the Court. And even today, if you go into a modern courtroom, it still refers to the closed-off area in front of the judges that are reserved for lawyers arguing before the Court. In short, to be called means you now have the right of audience before the Court. But to be called also means 'to have a calling'. A calling to do the will of the one who called me to carry out his purposes. And as I start my first week as a legal associate, I am reminded to look back on where and why I started on this journey. To remember that it is not money, skills or status that makes a good lawyer but a passion to serve and a willingness to be used. For his purposes always, and not my own. So I stand at the starting line and I lay down all my achievements again. To build an altar to you, committing the rest of my career as a lawyer to you. Do with me what you will. So that as I walk into this working world, I will never lose sight of what I love. That daily, I will take up my cross and follow you. Where you lead me, always make my heart willing to go.
4 February 2012
;21:42 How do you begin to describe the ending of something that consumed your life for six months and turned it completely upside down? How do you begin the process of putting together all the tears, joy, pain, blood and sweat that went into and finally came down to one hundred and ten pages and three hours?
Let me begin with gratitude. To the One who put me there and carried me through; to the coaches and judging panels who gave so much of their weeknights and more; to my teammates who stuck out the hours of no-eating, no-sleeping and endless rewriting with me; to the friends who walked beside me, listened and supported me when the going was at its toughest; to my family who tirelessly put up with all my ups and downs. I am here only because of all of you. So thank you for seeing me through, I am truly grateful.
Then let me start on change. For six months, this has been so much a part of my life, that now I feel a little at a loss as to what to do next. But the amazing thing is I know that I'm not walking away from it empty-handed. I've learnt what it means to trust with all your heart, to push your limits constantly, to dig deep and find strength to carry on. And I know I can never be the same again.
I know that this is the end of something great, and I wished that it didn't have to come so soon. Even so, I'm so glad that I had this opportunity to do something awesome before I graduate from SMU and I know that if I were given a chance, I'd willingly do it all again in a heartbeat.
Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than fine gold. She is more precious than rubies, and all the things you may desire cannot compare with her.
"I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded; not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night."
//Khaled Hosseini; The Kite Runner
Today TBH was talking about the law fraternity being a merciless, cutthroat and all-round unforgiving place. That once you have taken a step in the wrong direction, it stays in people's minds for a long time and it becomes very difficult, if not impossible, to ever get past it. So I'm truly thankful that you are different, that you are giving me a second chance even though I did nothing to deserve it. This time, I won't let you down.
"They have worries, they're counting the miles, they're thinking about where to sleep tonight, how much money for gas, the weather, how they'll get there -- and all the time they'll get there anyway, you see."
//Jack Kerouac; On the Road
Two really enjoyable weeks of school. Fairly interesting subjects, charming professors, best friends. An unbelievably awesome start to year 4, the beginning of the end. We'll get there sometime, somehow.
15 July 2011
;21:52Just found several news extracts about the pro bono case that I worked on while I was interning with PT! Apparently, they have it on todayonline, xinmsn and asiaone. We were all really excited when the sentence was passed cos we thought he was going to get a heavier term than what he got but it all turned out pretty well in the end. The only thing that's not so nice is probably how all the newspapers took the slant that he was smuggling stuff in for the inmates and how the xinmsn photo makes him look like some kind of hardened criminal. Which is completely only one half of the truth.
If they had taken the effort to get to know Mr. Ng and his family background and how hard he has worked to bring up his children, I think the articles could have had a completely different slant. And most annoyingly, nobody mentioned that the whole thing started from altruistic and compassionate reasons, that he had only wanted to help the inmates out because they were working in such an unpleasant environment. Oh wells, sometimes you can't explain everything to everybody.
9 July 2011
;00:31 "And Abraham called the name of that place Jehovah-jireh [that is, The Lord will provide]; as it is said to this day, "In the mount of the Lord it shall be seen.".
//Genesis 22:14 (NKJV Version)
But go and learn what this means. He is Jehovah Jireh, Yahweh Yireh, the one who supplies all my needs according to His riches in glory. He has seen and He will provide. Again and again. What else have I to fear?
"You are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed. [She] has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
//Luke 10:41 (NIV)
On Friday, somehow the topic wandered off to graduation, life in university and just looking back on those four years in general. Maybe it was because some amongst us were graduating or maybe it was because this week's assignment crunch time and a lot of people are just dealing with awful groupmates, but again it reminded me that there are barely 600plus days to go in this journey. And somehow in the past week, people have been asking about my graduation and I've been getting the same reaction mostly haha. They always say, ohmy so fast! Can't believe you're in third year already!
And when I see people reflecting on that chapter of their life, it reminds me that soon I'll be embarking on the same journey and it makes me nostalgic, reflective and pensive all at the same time. I want to make every day I have left here count. I want to make sure that I do all that I always wanted to do. I want to make sure that when I look back, I can say that I'm grateful for every day that I was given here.
"What do you think? I'm not a starfish or a pepper tree. I'm a living, breathing human being. Of course I've been in love.""
//Haruki Murakami; Kafka on the Shore
If moving my fringe half an inch more to the left can generate so many responses, I wonder what would happen if I changed the parting of my fringe? Okayy, random. But seriously, I can't believe the difference that comes from simply moving a few strands of hair from the right to the left. Haha, now that we've got the chance to go for Vis East, super excited. Like Jo said, we'll try to be big fish in small ponds. Little Davids swinging stones at Goliaths. Still should have googled the meaning of IHL and Vis East before realising that we signed ourselves up for commercial arbitration and SOGA. Adeline Chong would have a good laugh if she knew that I chucked all my SOGA notes into the recycling bin after Contract II exams.
"It was him not fighting for me. I gave him the ultimatum and he let me walk away. I didn't want a life separate from Luke, and that's all he could give me. It's like Luke is driving a car and I just want to be in the passenger seat. He's locked the door and I have to hold onto the bumper. I am not asking him to open the door, just leave it unlocked and say come in, but he didn't do that. So I am hanging onto the bumper and life goes on and the car goes on, and I get really badly bruised and I'm hitting potholes. And it hurts, it really hurts. So yesterday, I had to let go of the bumper. Because it hurts too much." //Lorelai; Gilmore Girls
we're heading for the last paper of the term! it's exciting cos CLS doesn't require a lot of memory work but the bad thing is that it requires you to impress Schubbs which is darn hard to do haha. I've kind of decided to just settle for as good a mark as I can get since all the legal philosophy mumbo jumbo really messes with my head. right now, I'm just looking forward to kboxxxx cos haven't gone in a while, got a lot of songs I want to sing!
had a nice 4 hour long lunch with jo, vk and emmanuel at plaza sing yesterday, just lazing around and talking about stuff. and we got onto this topic about the gang rape case in the news recently. and how it would be like if we were arguing for the defendants. it's kind of conflicting cos vk says you can't make good arguments unless you're convicted that your client is innocent and you want to do your best for him/her, and what happens if as the trial continues, the evidence starts telling the story that your client is guilty? you must give your client the best yet you've gotta deal with the conviction of your own conscience. after absorbing all that, I think I'm convinced that if I go into law after graduation, I want to do something that impacts lives directly. hmm, not sure where that hope will bring me yet haha! but I guess that's what keeps me going in law school, despite having no life on weekends and doing hours and hours of readings.
just heard about the new SAL program they're having to introduce students to the real life of lawyers so that students don't get seduced by the glamour of being a lawyer and drop out later. apparently, the singapore legal system suffers from a high rate of attrition aka people dropping out cos law in practice didn't match their expectations. kinda reminds me of what CSY said, that you need to know why you're in it otherwise you'll burn out cos there's nothing to carry you through anymore. I think I know why I'm in it and I hope I remember the reason even after I've been it in for years :)
this past week has its share of ups and downs, kinda like a wave haha. having to go through life the way I did before all this happened. I feel like I took my chance and I loved with all my heart. I fought for it, I gave my all and it feels like one day I woke up and realised that something happened. what that something is, I may never know. there's still a chance for change, but I'm not pinning my hopes on that, I'm waiting on God for the answer.
am watching our moot video which we finally got from CSY. urghh, my bangs are sodamnawful I'm glad I got rid of them. and my eyebags! on a side note, I think jojo and I make a great moot team hahahaha, she has a sweet voice and I keep sneaking smiles at the judges, that's how we win hearts in our moot :)
"The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want."
//the Second Law of Applied Terror
exams are finally finally over, this term has been pretty tough but I'm so glad the holidays are here! haha, the last exam was contract law and like at 1130, I could feel everybody wanting to abandon their paper and just leave the exam hall or okay, at least I felt that way haha. I really detest all the SOGA questions where you have to apply the Act in order to calculate damages, I mean let's just use common sense! anyway, I didn't study SOGA properly so I just took the market price of whatever goods and multiply by the amount bought haha, okay I knew something was abit off but I was like oh heck it, I just hope the prof doesn't feel like burning my paper when she sees it!
went for lunch with liru, clarissa and chee cheong at thai express and it was pretty funny cos we all became so indecisive after the exams la. haha, we changed our orders like 4 or 5 times and the waitress kept giggling at us. after that, went to chill at starbucks with liru and clarissa where we really had an opportunity to share stuff and catch up. and I learnt that I'm really blessed to have family who are around, who love me and a guy that always puts me first. having such blessings around makes you think the world works like that when it doesn't, so not taking anything for granted!
went out for lunch with huixiang, jojo and emmanuel at manhattan's fish market on tuesday haha (by special request okay, not that I was trying to be a lightbulb). then we went to the library to help out with some research that hx and jojo were doing for their pro bono work. I realise it's really hard to think of someone who has been accused of a crime as 'innocent until proven guilty' because the law system in Spore is pretty pro-plaintiff IMO. and it's also hard to draw the line between yourself and your clients. how much do you sympathesise? too much and you're too emotionally involved. too little and you risk reducing real life people and events to words on a page, a problem that needs to be solved. yes, there's much more to being a lawyer than I thought.
anyway, went to art friend to look for materials and scrap cloth. since I'm going to be bumming at home most of the time, I was thinking I should start on some craft tutorials hahaha since the end-products I saw were so amazing. haha, on the way there, chris was telling me that he's on his way back to the office already. okay, so i was browsing paper in art friend and suddenly someone asks, "can I help you with anything?" and the next thing i knew, chris was there la! haha he's so sweet sometimes but i was super surprised can! I even like blinked twice before I realised it was him haha. and then we had macs at the outlet in bras basah.
the last time I was there was with my LTB group-mates and now they've renovated it COMPLETELY. it's one of the best macs I've ever been to la. they have lots of sofa seats and sitting areas for two people. so there were tons of people studying there. haha, long time since I've been to mac without books for mugging. but we had a good time just chatting and having fries haha.
you know how people are supposed to be 3-D? as in, when you get to know them, they are not flat but they are vibrant and alive. for some people, you can only get to know their 1-D or 2-D selves because you can't handle who they actually are. and that's okay, that's why some people can only be mere acquaintances. but as I come to know you more, I love who you are and I love all the layers that you have and don't show.
haha I love doing all these analogies, reminds of me of ashin's onion song.
and yes, I absolutely love the holidays! can't wait to go baking, kboxing and shopping :)
"Happiness does not come from doing easy work but from the afterglow of satisfaction that comes after the achievement of a difficult task that demanded our best."
//Theodore I. Rubin
yay and the big, bad moots is FINALLY OVER. you cannot imagine the stress, the pain and the sheer torture of preparing for it but the moment when we were standing at the podium, and we knew exactly what to say to the judges when they shot questions at us made it all worth it. it's really really awesome that jojo (and justice vik!) were there all the way throughout the moots. really don't know what i would have done without them :)
and we celebrated by having dinner at ikea with chris and K-BOX the next day! haha, it really felt like a great burden off our hearts laa. i actually went to sleep thinking about how to answer a question about martha's television screen and woke up the next day with the answer hahaha.
and then we had the free much-anticipated lunch with prof at sushi tei! the funniest thing was that the day before, jojo was troubled over what to wear to the lunch hahaha. then while we were shopping at far east, i saw the perfect top and she was saying nooo nooo lor, i'm not going to wear it tmr. and ta-dah the next day, she's wearing it for the lunch la. tsk tsk, jojo, haha.
but i'm really happy with my first mooting experience! and most of all, i'm just glad that it's all over :)
"Oh sweetheart, you don't need law school. Law school is for people who are ugly, boring and serious. And you button, are none of those things."
//Elle's father in Legally Blond
yes, i don't want to become any of those things too.
lots of presentations and major assignments due in the next two weeks with way too little time. if I thought doing the office memo and client letter was bad, the appellate brief is like the mother of all terror. just doing a first draft of the brief strikes deep, dark fear into my little heart. it's always like this in the later weeks, all the slacking early on comes back to haunt you and suddenly you realise that you're pretty screwed cos you didn't do notes in class for the first few weeks. i haven't slept properly in weeks and i feel damn unhealthy. haha, and my sister was just telling me about how chubby and cute i was from my photos in taiwan.
now, i look like a ghost.
no wonder rachel was talking about how we scare ourselves in the morning by looking in the mirror. sigh, i'll actively become healthier once all this is over.
12 March 2009
;09:10//Don't build up your argument slowly to a climax. There's seriously no point. Just hit me, hit me, like a tsunami.
-- Prof CSY
Jojo and I in formal wear after our first mooting practice!
she kept moving backwards so that her face will appear smaller laa haha. and CSY filmed down our individual moots and put them on Youtube. luckily or unluckily for me, I was too sexy for his camera so he couldn't film down my mooting session. haha, oh well, I'll just ogle other people's mooting practice.
haha and look at the super super cute thai boy we found while preparing for the moots at siglap starbucks!
he's really a natural at melting girls' hearts can haha. everytime, you aim the camera at him, he gives you the puppydog eyes :) it's been a really really good week for me, i managed to talk to weilin! and i bought stuff that i needed. well, everything is good except that the work is piling up as usual. haha, but only 5 weeks more to the holidays!
"Amazing love how can it be, that you my king would die for me? Amazing love I know it's true; It's my joy to honor you; In all I do I honor you" //Chris Tomlin; Amazing Love Somehow the topic of work has been troubling me for the past two or three months. And while I've been getting by, I also know deep in my heart that I'm not yet digging deep enough, have not yet reached a point where I have complete peace. But God has been good, granting me two wonderful opportunities with weeps and kx to discuss my work situation. I've been really blessed, just to be able to share with them and say what has been eating away at me. And I really took away some wonderful nuggets of truth from my conversations with them. I don't know if this helps anyone else who is going through something difficult but I'll just share them here cos I think it applies to most things in life. First, it doesn't matter that I don't exactly know what I eventually want to be. It's enough that I know that God has placed me here for a purpose. So even if I'm doing something that's super mundane, I should do it with a spirit of excellence, as if I'm working for God and not for man. Bcos this is something that will mould my character and a stone I need to step on in the journey that God is leading me through. Second, my heart attitude plays out in the way that I interact with others and do my work. Do I truly believe that God is in control and He directs my path completely? If so, I will stop worrying about all my fears and my insecurities. Instead, I will do my best at everything I've been given and trust in God that he will allow it to turn out well. I will thank him for the place I've been put in and all the good things I've been given. I will not strive. Third, I will learn as much as I can in the time I've been given. It doesn't matter if there are many working styles, many things that I do not yet know. By God's grace, I will pick up the skills I need so that I can be effective in my calling. Lastly, each and every day I need to start off again with a spirit-filled vision of my work and my calling. Remind myself that I'm not in it for material things but that I'm placed here to do His work, in whatever shape and form that may be. Onward and onward, until we're called home.
"For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength." //1 Corinthians 1:25 I managed to meet KX for brekkie this morning before church and we had a really good meetup session. Now, I really feel like trying out a silent retreat session where there's no way for me to connect with the world and literally the only person I can converse with is God. Time to stop sifting soil and dig deeper. God is all I need, He is more than sufficient and in all my weakness, His strength will be made perfect.
"You fill the sun with morning light; You bent the moon to lead the night; You clothed the lilies bright and beautiful; You're already all I need, already everything that I could hope for You've already set me, already making me more like you." //Christy Nockels; Already All I Need This has been my season of scattering stones. Of realising that sometimes God makes people and things fall together in a perfect way for a beautiful moment in time. But moments in time do not last forever and once our season is over, it will be time to move on to new things. After all, in life, everyone makes their own decisions and though it will be with great sadness that we say goodbye, there are better things ahead for each of us. I believe, I sincerely believe. Thank you for everything, while it lasted. The times we had were wonderful and beautiful. xoxo.
"Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?” //Luke 9:23-25 (NIV Version)
Today, I come to the end of a journey that I've walked for five years. Today, I stand at the starting line of a new marathon that may last for a lifetime. Today, I am called to the Bar. Many people have asked me what it means to be called. Simply put, to be called to the Bar means to be legally qualified to represent your client in court and to argue on his behalf. Historically, it was used to refer to wooden barriers in old courtrooms, which acted as a divide between the public area and the space in front of the judges that was reserved for those having business with the Court. And even today, if you go into a modern courtroom, it still refers to the closed-off area in front of the judges that are reserved for lawyers arguing before the Court. In short, to be called means you now have the right of audience before the Court. But to be called also means 'to have a calling'. A calling to do the will of the one who called me to carry out his purposes. And as I start my first week as a legal associate, I am reminded to look back on where and why I started on this journey. To remember that it is not money, skills or status that makes a good lawyer but a passion to serve and a willingness to be used. For his purposes always, and not my own. So I stand at the starting line and I lay down all my achievements again. To build an altar to you, committing the rest of my career as a lawyer to you. Do with me what you will. So that as I walk into this working world, I will never lose sight of what I love. That daily, I will take up my cross and follow you. Where you lead me, always make my heart willing to go.
How do you begin to describe the ending of something that consumed your life for six months and turned it completely upside down? How do you begin the process of putting together all the tears, joy, pain, blood and sweat that went into and finally came down to one hundred and ten pages and three hours?
Let me begin with gratitude. To the One who put me there and carried me through; to the coaches and judging panels who gave so much of their weeknights and more; to my teammates who stuck out the hours of no-eating, no-sleeping and endless rewriting with me; to the friends who walked beside me, listened and supported me when the going was at its toughest; to my family who tirelessly put up with all my ups and downs. I am here only because of all of you. So thank you for seeing me through, I am truly grateful.
Then let me start on change. For six months, this has been so much a part of my life, that now I feel a little at a loss as to what to do next. But the amazing thing is I know that I'm not walking away from it empty-handed. I've learnt what it means to trust with all your heart, to push your limits constantly, to dig deep and find strength to carry on. And I know I can never be the same again.
I know that this is the end of something great, and I wished that it didn't have to come so soon. Even so, I'm so glad that I had this opportunity to do something awesome before I graduate from SMU and I know that if I were given a chance, I'd willingly do it all again in a heartbeat.
Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than fine gold. She is more precious than rubies, and all the things you may desire cannot compare with her.
"I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded; not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night."
//Khaled Hosseini; The Kite Runner
Today TBH was talking about the law fraternity being a merciless, cutthroat and all-round unforgiving place. That once you have taken a step in the wrong direction, it stays in people's minds for a long time and it becomes very difficult, if not impossible, to ever get past it. So I'm truly thankful that you are different, that you are giving me a second chance even though I did nothing to deserve it. This time, I won't let you down.
"They have worries, they're counting the miles, they're thinking about where to sleep tonight, how much money for gas, the weather, how they'll get there -- and all the time they'll get there anyway, you see."
//Jack Kerouac; On the Road
Two really enjoyable weeks of school. Fairly interesting subjects, charming professors, best friends. An unbelievably awesome start to year 4, the beginning of the end. We'll get there sometime, somehow.
Just found several news extracts about the pro bono case that I worked on while I was interning with PT! Apparently, they have it on todayonline, xinmsn and asiaone. We were all really excited when the sentence was passed cos we thought he was going to get a heavier term than what he got but it all turned out pretty well in the end. The only thing that's not so nice is probably how all the newspapers took the slant that he was smuggling stuff in for the inmates and how the xinmsn photo makes him look like some kind of hardened criminal. Which is completely only one half of the truth.
If they had taken the effort to get to know Mr. Ng and his family background and how hard he has worked to bring up his children, I think the articles could have had a completely different slant. And most annoyingly, nobody mentioned that the whole thing started from altruistic and compassionate reasons, that he had only wanted to help the inmates out because they were working in such an unpleasant environment. Oh wells, sometimes you can't explain everything to everybody.
"And Abraham called the name of that place Jehovah-jireh [that is, The Lord will provide]; as it is said to this day, "In the mount of the Lord it shall be seen.".
//Genesis 22:14 (NKJV Version)
But go and learn what this means. He is Jehovah Jireh, Yahweh Yireh, the one who supplies all my needs according to His riches in glory. He has seen and He will provide. Again and again. What else have I to fear?
"You are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed. [She] has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
//Luke 10:41 (NIV)
On Friday, somehow the topic wandered off to graduation, life in university and just looking back on those four years in general. Maybe it was because some amongst us were graduating or maybe it was because this week's assignment crunch time and a lot of people are just dealing with awful groupmates, but again it reminded me that there are barely 600plus days to go in this journey. And somehow in the past week, people have been asking about my graduation and I've been getting the same reaction mostly haha. They always say, ohmy so fast! Can't believe you're in third year already!
And when I see people reflecting on that chapter of their life, it reminds me that soon I'll be embarking on the same journey and it makes me nostalgic, reflective and pensive all at the same time. I want to make every day I have left here count. I want to make sure that I do all that I always wanted to do. I want to make sure that when I look back, I can say that I'm grateful for every day that I was given here.
"What do you think? I'm not a starfish or a pepper tree. I'm a living, breathing human being. Of course I've been in love.""
//Haruki Murakami; Kafka on the Shore
If moving my fringe half an inch more to the left can generate so many responses, I wonder what would happen if I changed the parting of my fringe? Okayy, random. But seriously, I can't believe the difference that comes from simply moving a few strands of hair from the right to the left. Haha, now that we've got the chance to go for Vis East, super excited. Like Jo said, we'll try to be big fish in small ponds. Little Davids swinging stones at Goliaths. Still should have googled the meaning of IHL and Vis East before realising that we signed ourselves up for commercial arbitration and SOGA. Adeline Chong would have a good laugh if she knew that I chucked all my SOGA notes into the recycling bin after Contract II exams.
"It was him not fighting for me. I gave him the ultimatum and he let me walk away. I didn't want a life separate from Luke, and that's all he could give me. It's like Luke is driving a car and I just want to be in the passenger seat. He's locked the door and I have to hold onto the bumper. I am not asking him to open the door, just leave it unlocked and say come in, but he didn't do that. So I am hanging onto the bumper and life goes on and the car goes on, and I get really badly bruised and I'm hitting potholes. And it hurts, it really hurts. So yesterday, I had to let go of the bumper. Because it hurts too much." //Lorelai; Gilmore Girls
we're heading for the last paper of the term! it's exciting cos CLS doesn't require a lot of memory work but the bad thing is that it requires you to impress Schubbs which is darn hard to do haha. I've kind of decided to just settle for as good a mark as I can get since all the legal philosophy mumbo jumbo really messes with my head. right now, I'm just looking forward to kboxxxx cos haven't gone in a while, got a lot of songs I want to sing!
had a nice 4 hour long lunch with jo, vk and emmanuel at plaza sing yesterday, just lazing around and talking about stuff. and we got onto this topic about the gang rape case in the news recently. and how it would be like if we were arguing for the defendants. it's kind of conflicting cos vk says you can't make good arguments unless you're convicted that your client is innocent and you want to do your best for him/her, and what happens if as the trial continues, the evidence starts telling the story that your client is guilty? you must give your client the best yet you've gotta deal with the conviction of your own conscience. after absorbing all that, I think I'm convinced that if I go into law after graduation, I want to do something that impacts lives directly. hmm, not sure where that hope will bring me yet haha! but I guess that's what keeps me going in law school, despite having no life on weekends and doing hours and hours of readings.
just heard about the new SAL program they're having to introduce students to the real life of lawyers so that students don't get seduced by the glamour of being a lawyer and drop out later. apparently, the singapore legal system suffers from a high rate of attrition aka people dropping out cos law in practice didn't match their expectations. kinda reminds me of what CSY said, that you need to know why you're in it otherwise you'll burn out cos there's nothing to carry you through anymore. I think I know why I'm in it and I hope I remember the reason even after I've been it in for years :)
this past week has its share of ups and downs, kinda like a wave haha. having to go through life the way I did before all this happened. I feel like I took my chance and I loved with all my heart. I fought for it, I gave my all and it feels like one day I woke up and realised that something happened. what that something is, I may never know. there's still a chance for change, but I'm not pinning my hopes on that, I'm waiting on God for the answer.
am watching our moot video which we finally got from CSY. urghh, my bangs are sodamnawful I'm glad I got rid of them. and my eyebags! on a side note, I think jojo and I make a great moot team hahahaha, she has a sweet voice and I keep sneaking smiles at the judges, that's how we win hearts in our moot :)
"The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want."
//the Second Law of Applied Terror
exams are finally finally over, this term has been pretty tough but I'm so glad the holidays are here! haha, the last exam was contract law and like at 1130, I could feel everybody wanting to abandon their paper and just leave the exam hall or okay, at least I felt that way haha. I really detest all the SOGA questions where you have to apply the Act in order to calculate damages, I mean let's just use common sense! anyway, I didn't study SOGA properly so I just took the market price of whatever goods and multiply by the amount bought haha, okay I knew something was abit off but I was like oh heck it, I just hope the prof doesn't feel like burning my paper when she sees it!
went for lunch with liru, clarissa and chee cheong at thai express and it was pretty funny cos we all became so indecisive after the exams la. haha, we changed our orders like 4 or 5 times and the waitress kept giggling at us. after that, went to chill at starbucks with liru and clarissa where we really had an opportunity to share stuff and catch up. and I learnt that I'm really blessed to have family who are around, who love me and a guy that always puts me first. having such blessings around makes you think the world works like that when it doesn't, so not taking anything for granted!
went out for lunch with huixiang, jojo and emmanuel at manhattan's fish market on tuesday haha (by special request okay, not that I was trying to be a lightbulb). then we went to the library to help out with some research that hx and jojo were doing for their pro bono work. I realise it's really hard to think of someone who has been accused of a crime as 'innocent until proven guilty' because the law system in Spore is pretty pro-plaintiff IMO. and it's also hard to draw the line between yourself and your clients. how much do you sympathesise? too much and you're too emotionally involved. too little and you risk reducing real life people and events to words on a page, a problem that needs to be solved. yes, there's much more to being a lawyer than I thought.
anyway, went to art friend to look for materials and scrap cloth. since I'm going to be bumming at home most of the time, I was thinking I should start on some craft tutorials hahaha since the end-products I saw were so amazing. haha, on the way there, chris was telling me that he's on his way back to the office already. okay, so i was browsing paper in art friend and suddenly someone asks, "can I help you with anything?" and the next thing i knew, chris was there la! haha he's so sweet sometimes but i was super surprised can! I even like blinked twice before I realised it was him haha. and then we had macs at the outlet in bras basah.
the last time I was there was with my LTB group-mates and now they've renovated it COMPLETELY. it's one of the best macs I've ever been to la. they have lots of sofa seats and sitting areas for two people. so there were tons of people studying there. haha, long time since I've been to mac without books for mugging. but we had a good time just chatting and having fries haha.
you know how people are supposed to be 3-D? as in, when you get to know them, they are not flat but they are vibrant and alive. for some people, you can only get to know their 1-D or 2-D selves because you can't handle who they actually are. and that's okay, that's why some people can only be mere acquaintances. but as I come to know you more, I love who you are and I love all the layers that you have and don't show.
haha I love doing all these analogies, reminds of me of ashin's onion song.
and yes, I absolutely love the holidays! can't wait to go baking, kboxing and shopping :)
"Happiness does not come from doing easy work but from the afterglow of satisfaction that comes after the achievement of a difficult task that demanded our best."
//Theodore I. Rubin
yay and the big, bad moots is FINALLY OVER. you cannot imagine the stress, the pain and the sheer torture of preparing for it but the moment when we were standing at the podium, and we knew exactly what to say to the judges when they shot questions at us made it all worth it. it's really really awesome that jojo (and justice vik!) were there all the way throughout the moots. really don't know what i would have done without them :)
and we celebrated by having dinner at ikea with chris and K-BOX the next day! haha, it really felt like a great burden off our hearts laa. i actually went to sleep thinking about how to answer a question about martha's television screen and woke up the next day with the answer hahaha.
and then we had the free much-anticipated lunch with prof at sushi tei! the funniest thing was that the day before, jojo was troubled over what to wear to the lunch hahaha. then while we were shopping at far east, i saw the perfect top and she was saying nooo nooo lor, i'm not going to wear it tmr. and ta-dah the next day, she's wearing it for the lunch la. tsk tsk, jojo, haha.
but i'm really happy with my first mooting experience! and most of all, i'm just glad that it's all over :)
"Oh sweetheart, you don't need law school. Law school is for people who are ugly, boring and serious. And you button, are none of those things."
//Elle's father in Legally Blond
yes, i don't want to become any of those things too.
lots of presentations and major assignments due in the next two weeks with way too little time. if I thought doing the office memo and client letter was bad, the appellate brief is like the mother of all terror. just doing a first draft of the brief strikes deep, dark fear into my little heart. it's always like this in the later weeks, all the slacking early on comes back to haunt you and suddenly you realise that you're pretty screwed cos you didn't do notes in class for the first few weeks. i haven't slept properly in weeks and i feel damn unhealthy. haha, and my sister was just telling me about how chubby and cute i was from my photos in taiwan.
now, i look like a ghost.
no wonder rachel was talking about how we scare ourselves in the morning by looking in the mirror. sigh, i'll actively become healthier once all this is over.
//Don't build up your argument slowly to a climax. There's seriously no point. Just hit me, hit me, like a tsunami.
-- Prof CSY
Jojo and I in formal wear after our first mooting practice!
she kept moving backwards so that her face will appear smaller laa haha. and CSY filmed down our individual moots and put them on Youtube. luckily or unluckily for me, I was too sexy for his camera so he couldn't film down my mooting session. haha, oh well, I'll just ogle other people's mooting practice.
haha and look at the super super cute thai boy we found while preparing for the moots at siglap starbucks!
he's really a natural at melting girls' hearts can haha. everytime, you aim the camera at him, he gives you the puppydog eyes :) it's been a really really good week for me, i managed to talk to weilin! and i bought stuff that i needed. well, everything is good except that the work is piling up as usual. haha, but only 5 weeks more to the holidays!
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